dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
