you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
