I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
