fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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