your room smells of hookers.
And success
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
