Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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