I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
