are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
