I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
