I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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