Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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