I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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