On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
