there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize