Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
