im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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