Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
