There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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