kristin has been a bad kristin
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
