The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
