Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
