I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
