last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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