He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
