My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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