Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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