I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
someone owes me an orgasm
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
