I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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