You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
