Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Non-Jews are for practice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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