i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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