Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
