i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
