Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
