I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
