There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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