we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize