I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize