She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
