Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
