His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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