I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
