How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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