I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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