The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
