I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
