We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
