I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
