Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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