I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
