I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
