It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
