She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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