I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize