I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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