People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
