also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
