so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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