I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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